The Republic of El Mesias is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, devout population of 739 million Mesianenses are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Puerto Lumbreras. The average income tax rate is 48.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient El Mesiasian economy, worth 25.3 trillion escudoes a year, is led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 34,177 escudoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Kids refer to anything below the neck as "the parts that shall not be named", pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on El Mesiasian roads, appendix transplant figures have recently doubled, and buses are widely regarded as the safest way to travel. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. El Mesias's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

El Mesias is ranked 119,750^th in the world and 5,521^st in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 65 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.